Today is Thanksgiving Day and I had my second-ever DNS ("Did Not Start"). Back in August I had signed up for the Atlanta Half Marathon, assuming that 2.5 weeks after running two full marathons I'd be ready for a hilly half marathon.
Yeah, I really was crazy, wasn't I? LOL
I mean, even if everything had gone perfectly (and whenever does it?!), did I really expect to be able to run a relatively challenging half marathon so soon? I guess it's not all that crazy, though, because my BFF did run it today - and much faster than I ever could, even well-rested. Oh well...
I really am feeling like a wuss. Like I don't have what it takes to be a real runner anymore. I'm afraid to sign up for ANY races because I find myself wondering if I'm ever going to be able to run again at all. I've always been able to set these goals for myself in running and have always reached them. Until now. And now I'm afraid to even try to set any goals. And that makes me feel like a wuss. I feel so disconnected from my running friends right now, even my BFF. I feel really, really alone - like I've lost my identity, like I don't belong with the runners but I don't belong with the non-runners, either. It's such a horrible feeling.
But it's Thanksgiving Day. And I am thankful for all of my many blessings. And one day, I am sure I will look back on this time in my life and see it as a blessing as well. I'm trusting that this is all part of God's plan - and that it's all good!